April 7, 2007 at 2:02 am 1 comment

The thing that really sucks about waking up around 10pm is that this is when the shop across the road shuts.

Let me explain. I’m such a screw-up that I don’t ever have the energy or motivation to cook. It would mean having the energy to clean plates and saucepans and so on. When I’m feeling OK, I’m actually quite good at cooking. When I was in one of my better mental states a year and a bit ago, I did things like making chicken soup from scratch. Now I end up getting sandwiches from the shop across the road. It’s not a great way to live, but it keeps me fed.

Except when I wake up at 10pm and haven’t planned at all, so I have no food at all in the house. There’s some take-away shops round here, but take-away isn’t the kind of food that works well as breakfast. So I end up going 24 hours between meals. I’d assume this is doing me no good either.

I had what I can only assume was a hallucination yesterday afternoon. I was a bit anxious, since it being a bank holiday, lots of people were home and there were far too many random noises from around the block of flats I live in. I saw/heard something run across my kitchen counter. There’s been a mouse in here a few times, but this didn’t seem like a mouse. It was too big. It sounded more cat-sized. So I went and looked and there was nothing there. It wasn’t terribly dramatic, and I haven’t really been worrying about it, but it was odd. Whenever my moods are leaning towards the anxious side of things, I’ve had a tendency to see movement out of the corner of my eye that isn’t there, which is also odd, but more annoying than anything else.


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1 Comment Add your own

  • 1. gloomferret  |  April 7, 2007 at 10:59 am

    Ah yes, the black scuttly things.
    Old dear friends of mine. Don’t worry about them. They get on with their own business…

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Hi, I'm James. I'm a 26 year old guy from England with bipolar disorder (currently well controlled). I also have a circadian rhythm sleep disorder (not so well controlled). This blog has charted my journey from mental illness, through diagnosis and, recently, into recovery. It's not always easy, but then, what is?


Self-righteous note about smoking

As of 12th September 2008 it has been forty five weeks since I quit smoking. So in another seven weeks it'll have been a whole year.

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