Distraction / Dreams / Magpies

June 7, 2007 at 4:46 am Leave a comment

I spent today in heavy distraction from everything. I looked around, and found maybe just enough co-codamol tablets to get reasonably fucked up on codeine, but didn’t have the energy to go through the whole extraction process, so I ended up playing an old video game. For about 12 hours. No better way not to exist temporarily.

You can’t be lonely if you don’t think about anything at all. Then again, you can’t be anything.

I had terrible and violent dreams last night. They’re jumbled and I don’t remember most of them, but I do remember swearing at my father, using language that shocked even me (and that despite the arguments, I’ve never actually used in real life).

Earlier, I heard an odd noise very close to my window. A bit like a dog barking, but not. And besides, dogs aren’t known for hovering around outside first floor windows. Turned out to be two magpies, one perched on the scaffolding, the other perched on the ledge just outside my window. Its beak was actually just inside. Close up, magpies are kind of disturbing. Especially when they stare at you with their little, madly red eyes.


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Hi, I'm James. I'm a 26 year old guy from England with bipolar disorder (currently well controlled). I also have a circadian rhythm sleep disorder (not so well controlled). This blog has charted my journey from mental illness, through diagnosis and, recently, into recovery. It's not always easy, but then, what is?


Self-righteous note about smoking

As of 12th September 2008 it has been forty five weeks since I quit smoking. So in another seven weeks it'll have been a whole year.

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