CMP Today

November 9, 2007 at 3:20 pm Leave a comment

So I was woken by my alarm just after eight, which gave me enough time to have breakfast, take a shower, get ready and walk to the place where the condition management program was being held. At least it would have done, had I not fallen back to sleep and woken up at 9:25am (objective time).

This meant that I had to get ready in ten minutes. It actually reminded me of every day when I was working. Even if I’m a bit rusty, I’m still well practiced at the art of the incredibly fast morning routine. Ten minutes later and I was out the door, washed, dressed and hideously disoriented.

The CMP was interesting, although my low expectations were rewarded in one respect. Out of a group of nine, there was one woman (plus the two presenting the thing). So the room was filled with pathetic men (and I include myself in this, though my levels of patheticness are fairly low at the moment). Today was mostly just introductory stuff. There were a couple of exercises and, being filled with confidence, I ended up presenting stuff on behalf of the groups I was in. I actually held back to try to get other people to say stuff, mainly so they wouldn’t think I was a hugely arrogant bastard. This may or may not have worked.

There was lunch provided, in twenty different flavours of what the fuck were they thinking. I do not recommend paella cakes (cooked rice formed into little discs and coloured yellow for no discernable reason). Frankly, the food I’m doing myself at the moment is much nicer. The tomato and basil penne pasta salad was fairly decent, so if the same selection is available next week I’ll probably stick to that. The coffee available was fairly decent, too.

On the plus side, I did have a Royal Gala apple, which was almost as nice as the Pink Lady variety I normally eat. The Royal Gala was slightly sweeter, a little juicier, but a little too soft for my taste. While the flavour was unobjectionable, though far from complex, it sorely lacked the satisfying crunch of other varieties. All in all, not a bad apple, but it won’t become a regular feature on my own shopping list.

It became fairly clear after a while that the CMP isn’t really designed for people like me. I’m happy and healthy at the moment, except in terms of sleep, so I don’t really need the advice on how to solve my problems. After the meeting was over, I had a chat to one of the presenters, who essentially said that it was up to me, but that she thought I could still get something useful from the course. So I’m going to keep up with it, I think. It’s not as if I have much else to do with my Fridays.

One final note. The room was warm so I took my jacket off. My forearms were bare and my scars all visible. I thought about it a couple of times, but with nothing resembling worry. Which is either a good thing (I’m not worried about people seeing my scars, because I’m more comfortable with them) or a bad thing (I’m not worried about people seeing my scars, because my confidence levels have shot up to levels indicative of hypomania.)

Oh and a final, final note. On my way home I bought a computer mouse. Go me! I have a fully working computer system again!


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CMP tomorrow 6 Hours of distracted rambling

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Hi, I'm James. I'm a 26 year old guy from England with bipolar disorder (currently well controlled). I also have a circadian rhythm sleep disorder (not so well controlled). This blog has charted my journey from mental illness, through diagnosis and, recently, into recovery. It's not always easy, but then, what is?


Self-righteous note about smoking

As of 12th September 2008 it has been forty five weeks since I quit smoking. So in another seven weeks it'll have been a whole year.

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