CMP tomorrow

November 9, 2007 at 5:38 am Leave a comment

I start my condition management programme (or CMP) tomorrow (or later today, really). This is the thing I’ve been sent on by the Jobcentre. It’s voluntary, so it’s not as if I’m being forced to do it, but I’m not expecting it to be of huge amounts of help. Particularly since I have no real problems affecting me currently. The underlying problems are there, but the sleep disorder doesn’t really screw up my life unless I have to wake up at particular times, and the mood disorder is at a point in its cycle where I’m generally fairly happy. I’m eating well, looking after myself and exercising.

The CMP seems to be built around cognitive behavioural therapy, which is based on modifying thoughts, beliefs and behaviours to effect change. But my behaviour at the moment is fine, I have no thoughts that result in any very negative behaviours (indeed, I’m displaying lots of positive behaviours at the moment). I do believe that I’ll get depressed again, but this seems to be based around solid evidence rather than any self-defeating notions and I’m trying to get the medical help I think I need to manage the disease in a fairly sensible manner.

So what exactly are they going to find to do with me? If they start talking about sleep hygiene I might just laugh at them.

But it might be interesting. The only people I’ve been meeting in the last year have been friends I’ve known for years and the occasional medical professional who thinks my personality’s disordered. So meeting people who aren’t trying to diagnose me or having to put up with my depressions will make a nice change. And who knows, there might even be attractive women there, or even just one. Attractive women go crazy too, so it’s not quite beyond the bounds of imagination. I suspect this is way too much to hope for, but it’d be nice.

In the meantime I have two and a half hours sleep to get.

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Hi, I'm James. I'm a 26 year old guy from England with bipolar disorder (currently well controlled). I also have a circadian rhythm sleep disorder (not so well controlled). This blog has charted my journey from mental illness, through diagnosis and, recently, into recovery. It's not always easy, but then, what is?

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