The Year of the Chimp

December 14, 2007 at 10:31 pm 5 comments

Living through more than a decade of depression will eventually get you down. Time was I could be clever and witty about my problems. Now I’m just dull and stupid. The lure of being the constant outsider fades into the reality of alienating yourself from everyone and everything. Hiding your problems for so long means that most people you know hardly know you at all.

— Me, a year ago.

That was the post I made a year ago today. Yes, the experimental chimp blog is a whole year old today! In that year, I’ve made 373 posts (I averaged more than one per day? Good lord) and received over a thousand comments.

I had no idea when I started writing this blog whether anyone would read it. I get about a hundred hits a day at the moment, so someone does. And thanks to your comments, I can put names to some of you. So thank you to all my readers, and especially (in no particular order) to Gabriel, Patient Anonymous, katm, darkentries, and Margaret.

And a salute to those who have disappeared or gone silent: Sisiphus, Ian and Tom Dandy. Hope things are going well with you, wherever you are.

Writing this blog hasn’t exactly kept me sane, but it’s probably helped me not go completely crazy at times. Thanks everyone!

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5 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Gabriel...  |  December 15, 2007 at 6:09 am

    Congratulations dude… it’s been interesting to follow your journey. Any time… or a lot of the time, when newbies come to my site looking for some guidance or just for someone who understands, I’ve been kicking them over here… and not always just to annoy you, but mostly because your journey has shown how critical it is to just keep moving forward. It’s rare out there or in here to find someone not only willing to expose their recovery and attempt to find a recovery system to strangers but you’ve managed to do it with intelligence and wit and sometimes even patience, and that’s even more rare.

    I’d just like to take the opportunity to remind everyone the kelp was my idea. Seriously… how the fuck are you managing a post a day?

  • 2. experimental chimp  |  December 15, 2007 at 10:29 am

    I’m not posting every day at the moment (more like every other day), but back in the first half of the year I was posting more than daily, so it all averages out. Plus, my posts aren’t generally as considered or thoughtful as yours. A lot of them were just “OH GOD THIS SUCKS” for a couple of paragraphs.

    Thanks for the praise, which I’ll now studiously ignore because I’m English and we’re not set up to deal with that kind of thing.

  • 3. katm  |  December 15, 2007 at 12:47 pm

    It’s good to see that you’ve reached your first blog birthday. Mine is coming up too. It’s also good to see that you’re finally looking at the prospect of getting some sort of treatment. I wish you the best in the future. You’re stronger than you give yourself credit for.

  • 4. Margaret  |  December 15, 2007 at 12:55 pm

    No need to thank me. I’m just glad you kept b*****ring on. I, too, have recommended your blog to a few people, though I insist they start reading at the beginning … Please don’t ever let it disappear even if you get fed up with blogging. I found an amazing blog that really helped me/us at home and I was gutted when a few months later it had disappeared – though I found it on an archive site after much searching.

  • 5. experimental chimp  |  December 19, 2007 at 12:10 am

    Thanks katm!

    Margaret: Don’t worry – I’m here to stay.

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Hi, I'm James. I'm a 26 year old guy from England with bipolar disorder (currently well controlled). I also have a circadian rhythm sleep disorder (not so well controlled). This blog has charted my journey from mental illness, through diagnosis and, recently, into recovery. It's not always easy, but then, what is?

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Self-righteous note about smoking

As of 12th September 2008 it has been forty five weeks since I quit smoking. So in another seven weeks it'll have been a whole year.

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