Therapy, glasses, charity, news

August 13, 2008 at 9:05 pm 9 comments

I picked up my new glasses today on the way back from my therapy appointment. It’s weird. I tried them on in the shop and couldn’t really tell if they made any difference. I’m wearing them now and if I take them off, the words go all blurry. I have no idea how I coped with it now that I can see how it should really look. It’s an odd feeling wearing glasses. It’s going to be a while before I get to the stage where I stop noticing that they’re there. Right now they’re like two little windows of clarity hovering in front of my face.

I had to force myself to get up for the therapy appointment. I was out last night with friends, watching the new X-Files movie and got in kind of late. It’s been about six weeks since I last saw my therapist, so it was interesting talking about where I am now in terms of everything. Then in the afternoon, I went to my charity thing. The other person who works today had their 12 year old niece in the office going through some stuff for her, so it was a bit livelier than normal and everyone was in a really good mood. I usually find kids a bit stressful to have to deal with, but it was actually pretty fun today.

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Entry filed under: Awesome Stuff.

My eyes – They are wonky. Counting down to the end of therapy

9 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Gabriel...  |  August 13, 2008 at 10:05 pm

    When I first started wearing my glasses a couple of years ago it was like my horizon was extended by twenty or forty feet (I should find some way to measure). Suddenly the gas station sign down the street went from a grey mess to being perfectly legible.

    …how great is it being able to participate in a group activity and being able to appropriately enjoy yourself?

  • 2. experimental chimp  |  August 13, 2008 at 11:49 pm

    My sister had something similar happen when she got glasses. The flowers in the garden stopped being a mass of blurry colours. I suspect I’m going to be able to enjoy reading again. Struggling through three-hundred odd pages of small text is going to be so much easier now.

    Being able to enjoy any social stuff is awesome. I never really thought of the odd tension and anxiety I feel around social activities as being part of the disease. It hasn’t always prevented me from enjoying being social, but it’s been a hurdle to clear before I can. But recently it’s been so easy and I think I’m beginning to understand why people enjoy being around other people…

  • 3. Gabriel...  |  August 14, 2008 at 1:17 am

    “…but it’s been a hurdle to clear before I can.”

    When I go on (mostly incomprehensibly and at great length) about “behaviours” and how the disease influences our decision making this is one of the things I mean.

  • 4. experimental chimp  |  August 14, 2008 at 8:23 am

    This is one of the things I’ve been looking at with my therapist. At first it was difficult for me to resolve the difference between medication (which feels like it’s for treating something real and biological) and therapy (which feels like it’s for treating something much more ephemeral). But it’s become clear that it’s really about the interaction between the disease and the things I do to cope with it. It’s been really useful.

  • 5. adifferentvoice  |  August 14, 2008 at 4:49 pm

    EC, I don’t understand what you mean by this :

    “But it’s become clear that it’s really about the interaction between the disease and the things I do to cope with it.”

    Would you mind expanding/explaining a bit, as I’d like to understand.

    Thanks,

    Margaret

  • 6. experimental chimp  |  August 14, 2008 at 5:35 pm

    Sure. The disease is the thing that causes low and high moods. The behaviours that are associated with these moods, things like hiding away, keeping my feelings to myself, drinking too much, etc. these are my responses to the disease, or psychological problems that have been shaped by the disease.

    So depression may make me want to die, but researching ways to kill myself is a behaviour. When I’m depressed I don’t have any control over the wanting to die, but I do have control over what I do about it. And likewise, being protective and feeling responsible for other people is a behaviour that can lead into the feelings of superiority that’s part of hypomania.

    The disease is just the wrong bit in my head. But its consequences reach into every aspect of my life. Therapy doesn’t really try to help with the disease, I can’t think my way out of it because it’s not something that my mind can control. But I can think my way around the consequences that the disease causes for my behaviour and the consequences of my behaviour on the disease.

  • 7. Margaret/adifferentvoice  |  August 16, 2008 at 1:55 pm

    Good explanation. All clear now, thank you!

  • 8. patientanonymous  |  August 16, 2008 at 8:11 pm

    I started wearing glasses when I was seven years old. I have no idea how anyone knew or clued in as to why I needed them but I am gathering that someone saw me straining or squinting to read something?

    Anyway, when I got them, the first thing I realised was that when I looked down, I could see each and every blade of grass individually. It was really trippy! Then on the drive home, my eyes started to kind of feel pretty sensitive to everything (hmmm…now makes me wonder about all of the head stuff and my eyes have been extremely light sensitive all of my life.) So, I just put my head down and didn’t look out the window anymore.

    And speaking of glasses, when I was reading your post just now, I thought you wrote:

    “Then in the bathroom, I went to the charity thing.”

    BWAH-HA-HA!

    Good lord! I was thinking ‘just what the hell kind of charity is that!’

    This tends to happen to me a lot now that I am on ACs. All sorts of bizarre wordiness problems. It’s not uncommon.

    Not to mention, no tea yet for PA yet today and that is an absolute requirement for even remote functioning. So based upon what I just wrote there, definitely time for a cuppa!

    x

  • 9. patientanonymous  |  August 16, 2008 at 8:13 pm

    Oh dear…you see…”yet..yet.”

    No more reading or writing until I take in my tea!

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Hi, I'm James. I'm a 26 year old guy from England with bipolar disorder (currently well controlled). I also have a circadian rhythm sleep disorder (not so well controlled). This blog has charted my journey from mental illness, through diagnosis and, recently, into recovery. It's not always easy, but then, what is?

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