So you’re considering suicide? Been there, done that, got the blood-stained t-shirt. I get a lot of people here who’ve searched for things like “easiest way to die” or “how to overdose” or “how to slit your wrists”. I talk about wanting to die and figuring out what my medication would do in overdose. I had to get my wrist repaired after I cut through a tendon (the palmaris longus if you’re wondering) trying to slash open the artery.
But I won’t tell you how to do that kind of stuff. (To answer a few of the things people seem to want to know: Slitting your wrists is difficult. Hell, I’ve been cutting myself for the last decade or so and I couldn’t get the artery. It does hurt. Even if you get the artery, it’s unlikely to kill you. The wrist contains lots of delicate stuff – nerves and tendons – that you will fuck up, risking losing function in the hand. Overdoses are rarely quiet and peaceful, and often messy, painful and undignified. There is no easy way to die.)
But I’m not here to tell you not to kill yourself. I might end up making that decision at some point and it’d be pretty hypocritical of me to lecture you. Life can really suck sometimes. And I think that sometimes life can suck enough that suicide is a sensible choice.
But that’s probably not the case with you. There’s good reasons for killing yourself, but it’s pretty fucking unlikely that you have one. I’m sure you think you do – nobody kills themself on a whim. The couple of times I tried to kill myself I had great reasons. All the times since that I’ve been close to doing it, my reasons have been rock solid. Except after the feeling faded, the reasons didn’t seem so good. Chances are you’re depressed. Depression messes with the way you think. It certainly messes with the way I think sometimes.
Any way that you look at it, death’s a serious step to take. And it’s one that should be considered on a clear head. So if you’re here because you want to kill yourself right now, you’re – by definition – not in any fit state to make that decision at the moment. You already know that there’s people you can call. I’m in the UK, so the one I’ve called is called The Samaritans. They’re nice people and it helps. You can find their number and your local equivalent via Suicide: Read This First.
Good luck anyway. I’m sorry you’re here.